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The other day, I legit chased my toddler around my street with no pants. ZERO pants. He was running all over the street and I didn’t have time to think about whether or not neighbors could see my saggy white rear end peeking out from underneath my shirt. I had a toddler to catch. If you happened to look out of your window and you live on my street… you’re welcome.

making_it_to_the_finals

Making It to the Finals

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It was late.

Josh walked into the kitchen where I was trying to wrap up the evening and straighten up from dinner. Also well past bedtime.

“Mom, you know that paper airplane you said you’d work on with me?”

“Yes, sure. Mmmhmm. I’m sorry son. It’s pretty late now. We’ll have to figure out another time.”

I turned around to keep going at the tasks but I caught his crestfallen look.

“Well,” he said, “We’ll just have to do it in the morning,” and he dropped his head to the table.

I furrowed my brow.

“Ummm…. yeah, we’ll have to pick another time because mornings tend to be a little crazy.”

“But MOM!!!! IT’S DUE TOMORROW!!!!”

What.

WHAT.

What is this new bit of information.

“I’m sorry, it’s DUE?? You did not tell me this was a school assignment. Or that it had an expiry date. You simply told me you’d like for me to help you make a paper airplane.”

Then it all came tumbling out. At 9:00 at night.

“Yeah mom, we’re all supposed to make paper airplanes then we’re going to fly them on Thursday and then there will be finals on Friday for the ones who fly the furthers.”

Glory be. I get the whole story. I wiped my eyes and then slowly opened them. Yep, he was still there.

“Josh,” *sigh* “Next time, please communicate with mommy better. Tell me that it is a SCHOOL ASSIGNMENT and there is a timeline and a due date.” I saw his concern and earnestness… and Josh needed grace in this moment. That boy is always in level-up mode.

“OK, here’s the deal: you go to bed and mommy is going to make you a paper airplane. One that will WIN. OK?”

Every once in awhile I get to be the hero and this was my moment. Plus, I’m good at these projects.

So I do what every modern mom does… c’mon over here YouTube and pull up a chair. I quickly found someone who had put up videos of how to fold champion paper airplanes that would fly the distance. So I got my paper and my scissors and set to work. It was pretty fun and I produced a flier that I was sure would win.

The next morning, Josh got up and I showed him his plane. He was ecstatic. He flew it in the house, but of course, we couldn’t really see how far it would go in the confines of the four walls.

When he jumped out of the car, I literally sent that boy off to school with a wing and a prayer. I’ll take paper airplanes over spirit week any day.

Fast-forward through the day and it came time to pick the boys up. They piled in the car and after everyone buckled I asked, “Hey Josh… how did it go?”

Him: “It flew…. ok.”

Me: “Ahhh, shoot. Not as we had hoped?”

Him: “Nahh…. it flew ok, but not as far as some others. I didn’t make it into the ‘finals’.”

Me: “I’m sorry son. We had high hopes for it.”

We paused the conversation for a second, then after a few minutes he chimed back in.

Him: “I made a paper airplane for my friend.”

Me: “Oh really?”

Him: “Yeah, he didn’t have one and I made one for him. He made it into the finals tomorrow!”

Me: “Josh, that’s fantastic. You made your friend a plane and that friend made it into the finals WITH THE PLANE YOU MADE HIM! In a way… you made it into the finals.”

Him: “Well, no I didn’t mom… it’s not my plane…”

Me: “But you MADE it for him… so a piece of you also went into the finals.”

He paused a thought hard.

Him: “OOOOOHHH! HAHA! Mom! Now I see! I see what you’re saying. Yes. YES. I guess I did, didn’t I.”

After we had a good laugh, I looked at him in the rearview mirror.

“Josh, when mommy does something to serve you and I watch you take that and go do something great, it’s as if I just did something great.”

He looked at me and smiled. “Mom, I get that. I totally get that now.”

I wouldn’t trade these car rides for anything in the world.

Next time, he’ll fold his own plane. But this time, I got to be a part of the process. His airplane may not have made the finals, but in this moment, right here, his heart is going the distance, hero cape and all.
 
 
-UPDATE-
 
 
Josh got in the car the other day and told me, “Mom… my friend WON the entire thing!!!”
 
I’m so proud of my boy, not only for taking initiative for his friend, but how proud he was for the win.
 
I thought I was going in for the “hero” cape and my son just grabbed it and flew. And I couldn’t be more happy about that.

#latenightwriting #levelup #levelupkids #authorsofinstagram #authorsofig #authorsofinsta #momwinslife #authorsofinstagram📚 #raisingboystomen #raisingboysright #raisingboys #boymom #boymomlife #writersofinsta #writersofinstagram #writingforlife #writinglife #writingsociety #writingforchildren #creativewriting

spirit_week

If You’ve Got Spirit, Let Me Hear It!

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Spirit Week.

The scourge of every semester for moms everywhere.

I mean, I suppose there are some who get excited about it. And God bless you if you are. You keep doing you.

I’m going to keep doing me.

And “me” is simply dreading the extra work associated with the various dress-up days.

I mean, I barely get myself dressed in the mornings. If I’m wearing the appropriate underwear and I’m out of my robe for the morning drop-off I’ve done really well. I might as well just close out that day as a “Win.” I may be a little smelly… my hair may not be washed in a few days, but I’m wearing clothes and I won’t get hauled into the local precinct for indecent exposure.

I’m convinced there are two types of kids in this world: Ones who think that school spirit week is “neat” and ones that think it is “not neat.” We didn’t have “school spirit” days when I was growing up. But then again, we had to walk uphill to school both ways in the blinding snow. It goes without saying.

My two eldest each fall into one camp. Sam thinks it’s definitely “neat” and Josh gives me the head shake every time. I will let you guess who is my favorite son in this scenario.

But at least Sammy is a self-starter. He decided he wanted to dress up for “Disney Day.”

This is a conundrum in this house. We’ve watched many a Disney movie, but other than that, we don’t have much to do with the Mouse ears. I’m not sure why. We haven’t hit Disney Princesses with #4. When we do, you’ll certainly hear about it.

At breakfast, Dave and I brainstormed and we got a brilliant idea.

“Sammy- you have a Mandalorian shirt! Mandalorian is most definitely Disney!”

He got excited. “Cool mom! That would be grea….”

He stopped short.

“Wait. That shirt is actually a ‘night shirt.'”

Me: “Yes. I mean, it’s a ‘t-shirt.’ You wear it with pajama bottoms BUT… you can ALSO wear it as a regular shirt.”

*I’m selling this hard*

Sam: “Mom, it’s a night shirt.”

Me: “You can wear it, Sam, it’s ok. No one will actually know.”

Sam: “MOM!!!! IT’S A PJ SHIRT!!!! THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK!!!!!”

Dave and I just stood off to the side and looked at each other like, “This conversation cannot be real.”

Sam the scientist just could not make the existential shift in his head from PJ to T-shirt. It was too much. I feared his brain would explode.

“Sam, if you don’t want to dress up, you don’t have to.”

Josh “hi-fived” him and they loaded up their stuff and got in the car.

I want you all to know that I tried. I made the effort. I even argued a case.

And when it was unceremoniously shot down, I’m here to tell you…

I’m not sad about it.

Until next year Spirit Week, with your cray-cray hair days, your dress up parties and your silly props. This mom’s peacin’ out and coasting on “normal” for the entire summer.

#schoolspirit #schoolspiritweek #latenightwriting #momwinslife #authorsofinstagram #authorsofig #writinginspiration #writinglife #writingofinstagram #amwriting #writingstuff #momsnot

sedonuts

Another Bite Out of the Se-Donut

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Well, we’re up there a lot.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the area, there’s no other way to describe it other than this: Two giant brothers went head to head in a wrestling match and they piled up giant slabs of rocks as they went. And they bled all over the place and stained everything red. Then the rains came and kind of turned it into a watercolor mess. Then their mom came out and yelled at them for making such a mess and bleeding on their front lawn. And then the mom teared up because the mess was so beautiful. Then that giant mom decided just to let them fight it out next time because it produced such beautiful results.

And that, in a nutshell, is Sedona. It’s wild, it’s jagged, it’s breathtaking.

And TJ calls it Se-Donut. And we do not correct him.

Partially, this is because there is an ACTUAL donut shop in Sedona called SeDonut. Which makes me angsty that I don’t own the marketing rights to that. I would have a field day.

This donut shop is good, but that’s beside the point. TJ just picked up the name and happily proclaims he loves “SeDonut” but means “Sedona.” And we pat his head and tell him he’s cute.

Especially since the viral shutdown, we just take a Saturday and go up there and play. Because it’s always at least 10-15 degrees cooler than the Phoenix Valley. Sometimes we’ll just go to a fun splash pad park and sometimes Dave and I are feeling adventurous and take all four hiking. Of course we get the complaints. The “I’m tired” and “I’m hungry” etc. Zip it kids. We’re busy building character. For the parents, of course.

But today, we just went up to relax. We took a picnic to the park. We brought all the kids and the dogs. And it actually was *fairly* relaxing as far as hauling kids go.

I should explain the one complication. When Rachel woke up that morning, she had a slight fever (with no other visible symptoms). Eh, like around 100 deg. And Dave and I went back and forth about whether we should go. Like all good parents, we decided to nix the day and just stay home.

Nope. Of course not. Are you kidding? Stay home on a beautiful day with FOUR kids slowly stealing our sanity? No way. So, I just grabbed the Tylenol, made the picnic lunch and had the boys throw all their things in a bag; shoes, swimsuits and extra change of clothes.

Rachel was fussy on the way up and of course, tons of traffic for a Saturday. But there’s something about hitting those red rock views that makes even the fussiest baby fade into the background. We made it into West Sedona and set up camp at the park. It was busy but not overwhelming with all sorts of parent and littles playing on the equipment and splash pad. The hippie parents were out and I love those guys. They’re all so nurturing and attentive and they always remind me to relax and enjoy the moment.

The kids lasted about 2.5 hours and then fussy pants happened for both Rachel and TJ. Into the car they went. And then we loaded up the other two. After a McDonald’s ice cream pit stop, we looked at each other and said, “What next?”

To be fair, the “What’s next?” discussion happens A LOT. It usually goes like this:

Dave: “OK, what do we do next?”

Me: “Umm, haven’t gotten that far.”

Me: *silence*

Me: “What about XYZ?”

Him: “Sounds good, let’s go.”

The “Next” was a short drive to Uptown Sedona. TJ had fallen asleep. We had the two dogs, a woken and crying Rachel and the other two boys. When we found a parking spot, Josh looked at us with panicked eyes and said, “I FORGOT MY SHOES.”

So, to be fair, we didn’t really notice until this point because 1) lots of kids and 2) parks don’t require shoes. But running around Uptown Sedona most certainly does.

I’m going to tell you something you already know, but we’re in the learning phase with the littles right now:

Natural consequences really, really stink.

Especially for Josh who doubles down on the critique of himself every minute of every day. Did Dave and I get a little frustrated? Of course. Because that means one of us has to stay in the car while the other parent takes Sam, Rachel and the dogs on a walk around Uptown Sedona. And let me remind you, it was BEAUTIFUL that day.

But we didn’t say a whole lot other than make a plan as to who was going to stay. Josh started having a minor meltdown because the full weight of his forgetfulness settled in on preventing him from having fun. And Josh is about two things: Playing outside and having fun.

I’m guessing the next time mom says “Go put your shoes in the bag,” he won’t forget.

Maybe.

Let’s skip the rest until the drive home. This is where things get fun.

Remember that line in “Dumb and Dumber” where Lloyd says to Harry, “You want to hear the most annoying noise in the world?” Then proceeds to sound like a human air horn?

That was the ride home with little Ray Ray. She didn’t have a fever anymore, appeared ok. Had been fed, no dirty diaper. You know, the usual checklist that parents go through eleventy million times a day. I was the driver home because I insisted I was awake and ok to drive.

I popped in those AirPods and put on the Noise Cancellation feature. Life saving. I drove that bus home and she screamed practically the whole way. I’m sure Dave’s nerves were shot, but the boys seem to be able to ignore the screaming and just watch their movie even though they couldn’t hear the sound above the screaming.

We thankfully exited the car at home and it was late so we hurried everyone to get themselves ready for bed. As I unfolded Rachel’s diaper, I discovered a 2 mm red rock tucked neatly right in-between her tiny little butt cheeks, buried where the sun can’t shine.

Imagine having a pebble stuck in between your cheeks and not being able to do anything about it. I just shook my head and thought, “Sorry little girl. We missed another one.”

Then it was time to put the boys to bed and little Sammy has been struggling hard with allergies for a few weeks. He seems to have gotten ALL the allergies, poor boy. So even on Claritin he was miserable and complaining that his nose felt like there was something “tickling” it. I thought, “Oh, that’s just the effect of allergies.” What else do you say about that?

But he was almost having a full meltdown and getting loud about his nose. I just hugged him and all of a sudden he pulled away after a violent sneeze. He looked at me with wide eyes then looked in his hands.

“Mom!!! It’s OUT!”

Me: “What…WHAT!!! What’s ‘OUT?'”

I looked in his hands and there was a small wad of toilet paper that had been in there for who knows how long. Likely a couple of days because I remember back to how long the “tickling” comment had been going on.

I once again felt sad, like I missed his misery.

“Sam, did you suspect you had anything stuck up your nose? You should tell mommy… you wouldn’t get in trouble, I just would want to help you get it out.”

Sam: “I really didn’t think anything was up there.”

Guess who then got a lesson in how to figure out nose blowing? I doubt he’ll be smashing TP up his nose again.

Maybe.

Whatever.

Who am I kidding?

The kids and their drama now firmly asleep, I crawled downstairs to put away the rest of the stuff in the fridge and the leftovers from dinner. I started this story to sort out my day and worked on house admin until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore. And I finished it the next day when I had had an appropriate amount of sleep.

Appropriate amount of sleep? Who am I kidding?

Certainly not you.

#sedona #sedonaarizona #sedonaaz #sedonaescape #visitsedona #redrockviews #sedonuts #latenightwriting #childrensbookauthor #roadtripwithkids #levelupkids #momwinslife #picnicinthepark #appleairpodspro #everydaystories #writingforlife

dave_sara

It’s Been a Year… And a Half

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Tonight was an impromptu date night. And for having a 7, 5, 3 and 1 year old… that’s a pretty hefty feat we pulled off.

It was also special because it was the first night we had gone out, by ourselves IN A YEAR AND A HALF.

Man, it’s been awhile. Part of that is situational (having a nursing baby doesn’t mean nights are optimal for just taking off) and part of it is circumstantial due to the ongoing pandemic. And part of it is simply logistical: Who in their right mind would walk into that scenario and watch four lively kids ages 1-7?

Our intrepid babysitter, Kathy. That’s who. And no, you may not have her number. Or her whereabouts. Her name isn’t really Kathy either. She’s far too valuable to disclose any other information. She handles our kids like a boss.

I had her come over tonight at 4PM. She took all four kids to the park with a picnic I had prepared. Dave walked in at 5 PM from work, which is extremely early for him on a work weekend. He saw me cleaning the second they left and he jumped in on it too. No one is more motivated than a parent when the kids are all out of the house.

I didn’t expect Dave to be home… I was just hoping to get some respite with a babysitter. So we cleaned our brains out until the kids came home around 7. Then we jumped in the shower, threw on some decent clothes and sneaked out the back door like a couple of teenagers.

We hopped in the trusty Honda and left the Pathfinder to Kathy in case of the zombie apocalypse and she needed to make a hasty getaway.

We headed to our favorite restaurant and sat out on the back patio enjoying the perfect Arizona weather. We marveled at the insanity of this year and made a list of the things that went down:

  • Had a “surprise” daughter
  • Welcomed two more darling baby girls into our family via my brothers (yes, that’s 3 baby girls in one year)
  • Did a lot of not sleeping
  • Navigated “online school” with a kindergartner and a first-grader and a three-year-old running around and a nursing 2-month-old baby
  • Had all children home all of the time until actual real school started and I cried with relief
  • Got used to wearing masks everywhere (not really, I hate them)
  • Dave saw waves of patients struggling with an awful virus
  • Dodged the corona virus like a bad game of frogger on the Commodore 64
  • Vaccinated against said virus and that was plenty not fun
  • Changed property management companies for our rental properties
  • Designed and built a deck in Sedona
  • Paid for two air conditioning units that went out at two separate addresses at the same time
  • Got into some debt and worked hard to pay off that debt
  • Refinanced five different properties when interest rates hit rock bottom
  • Watched our kids’ language program at school get axed and decided on a new school
  • Started a publishing company as I ventured into a new career

We talked business about some things we needed to think about and dates we needed to nail down, but it was always interspersed with our signature banter and I thought to myself “a date out with this guy is pretty much like being at home, we’re just interrupted WAY less.” I just love him and love how we’ve grown together. I have learned to depend on him more, and take my defenses down faster. I love how we can challenge each other and sharpen each other and then turn around and snuggle up when one is feeling tired or down or insecure or any other fill-in-the-blank that’s going on.

We survived this year and none of it would possible without God. Who helps us with perspective. Who helps us feel safe. Who gives us assurance that the next minute is not ours to worry about. Who holds our family and kids in His capable hands. After a year like this, my eyes are more tuned to look for those hands reaching out for me like my little daughter throws her hands up for me to lift her and hug her tight.

We walked into the blissfully quiet house after our date. Boys asleep? Check. Baby asleep? Also, check. We said goodbye to Kathy, locked the door, turned out the lights and called it a night; thankful for the opportunity to feel normal again for a few hours. And hoping the next time will be sooner than a year and a half.

#momlifewins #postpandemicworld #latenightdatenight #momanddadtime #momanddadlove #feelingnormal #babysitteroftheyear #bedtimestories #adultinglikeaboss #adultingwin #adultingatitsfinest #kidsareasleep #dateyourspouse #itsbeenalongyear #wemadeitoutalive #strongertogether #strongertogether💪  #lovethisman #lovethisman❤️ #kidfreenight #thankyoulordforeverything💕  #thelordisgood #latenightwriting 

football

The Great Easter Hug Hunt

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As far as sporting events go, Easter is the Superbowl for those of us who follow Jesus. It’s a big deal. We get to celebrate THE REASON we exist. The reason we get up every morning. The Person who loved us first. Man, it is just awesome! And if you don’t celebrate, thank you for supporting those of us who do. Just know, the roster isn’t full yet and the winning team could always use a few more players… in case you’re looking for the greatest coach to ever play the game.

It will never cease to be special to me, but this year it was missing some of the magic… like every single holiday of the pandemic. Part of it is simply a construct of having four kids under eight with a baby. Every little task just seems monumental, especially the thought of trying to do a special weekend or a special dinner. Or a special… anything.

And because of viral concerns, my family hasn’t gathered in a year. I know you are all with me on this. We’ve seen bits and pieces of family, but the big fun holiday gatherings where there are tons of arms to pick up the babies… aren’t happening. No meeting on the field… everyone sits in their own locker rooms… and plays football over zoom.

So we found ourselves on Easter weekend tired to the bone like every other weekend. Dave and I talked briefly about how we both basically do shift work. He shifts in the morning from about 6AM-9PM then sleeps. I’m up from about 7AM-midnight doing all the things. All. The. Things. Janitor, concessions, referee, back-of-house sales, finance and corporate. Everything. And when all of those things are done… suit up and play the game of your life.

Hiding Easter eggs and making pretty candy baskets were not at the top of my fun list of things to do. Screw you, you dumb bunny. Now you make me stay up even later. I was so tired I didn’t even want to picture my kids’ faces when they saw the Easter Basket. Bunny and Santa… you’d better hide because there’s one pissed off mom who does NOT need one more thing to do.

That was tired Sara talking to myself as I trudged up the stairs to try and wrangle the crew in bed. I sat in my room and played with Rachel putting off the inevitable… the boy tribe.

But before I could enter the boy locker room, Josh came peeling into our room crying his eyes out. It was not an “emergency room” cry… it was a “somebody hurt my feelings and I’m going to make sure everyone knows” cry.

In between gulps of ugly-cry fit he managed to tell us that Sammy had slapped him hard. On the face. I looked for a hand print but I was darkly disappointed that I didn’t see one. Definitely “Illegal Use of the Hands.”

I asked him why Sam did it and Josh replied he didn’t know. I can usually tell if Josh was instigating, but he seemed too shocked and broken this time.

Time to suit up and get on my gear. I closed my eyes and sighed, breathed a prayer and went to confront Sammy. When I got in the room he stood there with the guilty eyes. In Sam’s case, they’re the cutest expression his eyes make so it’s not good for the referee who finds it hard to resist such sway.

“Sam… why did you slap your brother really hard?”

He wandered around with some bizarre explanations until I brought him back to the field. “So what you’re saying is that ‘You slapped him because it was fun and you felt like it.'”

He muttered some affirmatives and I had to start in on the mom explanation of “Illegal use of the hands or you’ll incur a penalty. More blah blah blah of the mom pep talk. You guys know. You do it all the time. I ended with “You owe your brother an apology.”

I brought Josh in the room and said, “Josh, tell Sammy how that slap made you feel.” So he did that and I could see Sammy’s eyes go a little watery and back and forth between anger and hurt.

Sammy copped up to a pretty sincere apology. Josh still had angry frown and stone face. Josh could make an entire career of being butt-hurt and even have time for a side hustle of selling drama and holding grudges.

“Josh, what do you say to Sammy? Do you forgive him?”

Josh: “No.”

I leaned in really close to Josh’s ear and whispered, “I can tell he really means it.”

I stood up. I saw both faces soften in the slightest.

Josh: “OK, I forgive you.”

I was trying very VERY hard not to be triumphant. I was close enough, I decided to go for the two point conversion. “OK guys, why don’t you give each other a hug.”

At the same time they both looked at each other and said, “No.”

Me: “OK, OK, I can respect that. Maybe that can come later.”

Messy.

Messy, messy, messy forgiveness. But headed down that road, nonetheless. I didn’t care so much about the words and actions, I was studying their hearts like a player watches the game plan on the chalk board.

I saw glimmers of progress. And that was good for that night.

As I finally laid my weary head down that night after making the baskets and eggs and treats, I couldn’t help but think of Jesus on that awful night. How his mother had to watch him be slapped and brutalized and spit upon. And as we explained to our kids, Jesus chose it. He chose every bit of it for us. He knew that he had to lose in order to win… and did it all because He loves us. Endured the most hellish “game” ever imaginable because he knew our souls hung in the balance.

Jesus isn’t into neat and tidy forgiveness. He’ll suit up and meet us on our home field turf because he loves us that much. And he also loves us too much to watch us try to keep scoring touchdowns on our own end zone. If we stay down after a hard tackle, He will pick us up, dust us off and turn us toward victory.

This whole last year, I seemed to be lying flat on my back with the wind knocked out of me… gasping for breath and sleep and whatever else while the other tiny little football players ran around me and laughed. But I do know this: I can’t be helped up by a loving hand when I’m already standing. E’en so, Lord Jesus, quickly come. Sorry not sorry for the flagrant running football analogy. I am, after all, a mom of little boys.

#superbowlsunday #heisrisen #forgiveyourbrother #momlifewins #boymom #boymomadventures #boymomsrock #boymoms #boymomforlife #helives #helivesinme #upfromthegravehearose #easter2021 #easter2021🐣🐇 #forgivenessisfreedom #forgivenessofsins #reconciliation #reconciliationday #truthandreconciliation

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