The other day, I legit chased my toddler around my street with no pants. ZERO pants. He was running all over the street and I didn’t have time to think about whether or not neighbors could see my saggy white rear end peeking out from underneath my shirt. I had a toddler to catch. If you happened to look out of your window and you live on my street… you’re welcome.
Joshua: “Mom, how about you make limeade and I go watch TV.”
Me: “Son, negotiations have stalled on an account of this situation being weighted heavily in your favor. Throw in a back rub and you might have yourself a deal.”
So, my preschooler goes MWF all day. I see other moms picking up their kids and they yell “Mommeyy!!!” And act happy to see their mother. My boy? He mean mugs me and shoots me daggers because I a) pick him up too soon b) pick him up too late c) pick him up during snack d) pick him up before he gets to the playground. Move out kid. Just move out & get a job because clearly, you don’t need my services #threenager
Best part of my day: Listening to Josh read “Everybody Poops” to Sammy long after they’re supposed to be asleep.
Josh (to Sammy): “Sammy, you know better than that! You are not being kind to me!”
Now all he has to do is figure out how to pay for college and Josh has this parenting thing nailed.
The Dbacks win the wildcard and Empire Strikes Back is on TV. Archie Bradley and Billy D Williams… THE NIGHT CANNOT GET ANY BETTER, PEOPLE. Next up, #Dbacks take on the Evil Empire in LA. “C’mon guys, we won’t get another shot at this!” “Help us Obi Lamb RodGoldschmidtty… YOU’RE OUR ONLY HOPE!”