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Boy Mom Life

Robot Wars with Josh

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I got to pick up Josh from baseball practice with zero other kids in the car because Dave got home in time to hold down the fort.
 
These are precious times because I rarely get to be alone with my oldest. It was a hard day of momming because it’s the end of the week of a “break” (haha) and I’m dragging… feeding 20 meals a day, coming up with “fun” stuff to do when all I want to do is take a nap the second I wake up in the morning. Go back to school, kids. Mama needs her nap. Definitely short-tempered, scatterbrained, irritated at all the little people and about five steps behind keeping up with all of the chores and dishes that never end.
 
I looked at that little boy in his baseball outfit in my rearview mirror.
 
Me: “Hey Josh, is it hard some days to be a kid?”
 
Him: “Yeah. Yeah, it really is.”
 
Me: “It was hard today being a mom.”
 
Him: “I know.”
 
Me: “I know, you know.”
 
Me: “I’ll try again tomorrow.”
 
Overexplaining makes Josh uncomfortable (as does overapologizing). So I smiled at him, knowing the matter was settled.
 
Me: “How about lets get stuffed on some pizza and watch ‘Robot Wars’ until we fall asleep.”
 
Josh: “It’s ‘Battle Bots,’ mom.”
 
And we both chuckled because I never get the name right. But between you and me, I do it on purpose, now.
 
And I know, that he knows.
 
#oldestkid #battlebots #hardbeingakid #writingforlife #momstagram #daysarelongyearsareshort #momswhowrite #mommynap

She Was My People From the Start

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Just met another mom at the park.
 
Some people you meet, you know are one-off friends. You have a pleasant, but polite conversation and you go your separate ways when it’s time for naps.
 
This blessed mom walked right up to me and didn’t even TRY to fake that everything was fine and she was doing great.
 
She had a three year old and a 3 month old. Of course she wasn’t great. She was barely staying awake and shuffling through life.
 
I knew she was my people from the start.
 
She stared at my crew with her mouth agape.
 
“How in the world are you doing it?,” she breathed with a lilting Caribbean accent.
 
I chuckled. “Some days I only halfway ‘do it.’ And some days I do belly flops. But with God’s grace… I keep at it.”
 
We began talking like it was a conversation we had left off five years ago and picked right back up again.
 
We only had five minutes to chat before my kids needed me and hers started breaking down. Which is usually how it goes.
 
But this time, I went out on a limb and invited her over to my “messy, messy house” for some coffee. Those exact words.
 
There is a time when you have to buckle down and turn your eyes inward so hard just to plug all of the holes in the sinking boat. God honors that time and uses every bit of it for His glory.
 
And there is also a time when you can spare a few fingers and plug the holes in someone else’s boat. Or at least, you can train your kids to grab some buckets and start bailing 😉
 
Besides, no one cares about a messy boat when they’re on a dinghy next you going straight into the Bermuda Triangle.
 
As the season turns and we can shove the kids out of the house again to run the neighborhood, I might have another “neighbor” who will sit with me in the muck and share this life, slapping at the mosquitos that appear before it gets too cold.

I’ll Let the Chef Know

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Lately, HR has seen an uptick in the number of complaint reports filed by stakeholders. When I brought it to the Veep’s attention, he seemed to think it’s time to hold another gratitude seminar. These seminars are really fun. For us. I pull from my classes in extemporaneous speaking. They can get loud, animated and best of all, the audience is ordered to be on strict radio silence with eyes and ears wide open. There’s usually a test at the end.
 
*JUST THIS MORNING*
 
Josh: “Mom, you made my pancake too thick in the middle. It’s hard to eat.”
 
Me: “I’ll let the chef know. Thanks for your input.”
 
 
*****
 
 
Sam: “Mom, I’m getting ‘bored’ of eating school lunches.”
 
Me: “Is that right?”
 
Sam: “Yeah.”
 
Me: “Sam, can I ask you some questions?”
 
Sam: “Sure.”
 
Me: “Are school lunches generally tasty?”
 
Sam: “Yep, pretty tasty.”
 
Me: “Are school lunches relatively nutritious, with quite a few fruits and vegetables
thrown in?” (School lunches have come a long way from when I was in school)
 
Sam: “Ummmm…. yes.”
 
Me: “And are you satisfied after eating lunch, aka, do you get enough to eat?”
 
Sam: “Yep.”
 
Me: “One last question: Are you paying for school lunches?”
 
Sam: “Nope.”
 
Me: “That’s right, you’re not. And directly, we aren’t either. They’re not ‘free,’ because a) nothing in this world is free and b) we still pay taxes… and our tax dollars are subsidizing school lunches right now, which I think is a pretty good use of the funds considering it saves me time and anguish.”
 
Sam: “……”
 
Me: “Do you have any more questions? No, your honor, the defense rests.”
 
 
*****
 
 
I can’t wait for the next seminar. We’ll be holding breakout sessions on “Making Your Own Lunch” and “Cooking Your Own Breakfast.” You see, this will ultimately benefit the company as a whole as the stakeholders will be infinitely more invested in their ownership of said company. And we’re not just talking equity shares, here. Also, should they get hired away with a salary we can’t compete with (that’s ultimately the goal), they can take these new skills and use them toward their next entrepreneurial venture titled “Life doesn’t owe you a stinking thing.”
 
Buckle up, buttercups. Things are about to get fun here at the Linsanity, LLC.
 
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All I Want to do is Take a Nap

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On the way to school, our car becomes a sanctuary after the older two are dropped off. The noise level is not just cut in half, it’s almost cut down to nothing.

The chatterboxes leave and coincidentally, so do the sources of TJ’s constant teasing and torment.

TJ is actually relatively quiet when no one is teasing him or making him mad.

So TJ and Rachel *mostly* ride in silence to preschool.

This morning, TJ needed to vent some feelings.

“Mom, I don’t WANT to go to preschool today.”

Me: “Oh really, what are your reasons?”

TJ: “They make me do ‘circle time.’ And I DON’T LIKE IT!!!”

Me: “Huh. Why is that?”

TJ: “The teacher makes me cross like *this* and it MAKES MY LEGS HURT!”

Me: “Hmm. Well, I’m sure you could ask her to sit a different way as long as you’re sitting and listening.”

TJ (tumbling over his words): “And they *make* me go outside and they *make* me eat lunch and they *make* me color!!!

Me: “Ummm…. those all sound like pretty normal preschool activities and you’ve never complained about them before…”

TJ: “ALL I WANT TO DO IS TAKE A NAP AND HAVE THE TEACHER RUB MY BACK!!!!”

Ah. There it is. The root of the problem. I knew if I followed this rabbit trail long enough we’d come to it’s penultimate conclusion.

And all I had to say to him was….

“Me too, son… me too.”

#naptime #mommyneedsanap #momswhowrite #amwriting #writingforlife #lifeofmom #momlifewins

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Mom’s Not Comin’ Into Our Room

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It finally happened!!!!

I was waiting for an eternity and getting kind of sad and jealous of other moms who have hit this milestone already.

Nope– I’m not talking about teething or pooping on the potty or going to school or hearing their first cuss word…

I FINALLY GOT A SIGN ON THE DOOR BANNING ME FROM THEIR ROOM.

I’m giddy with excitement.

I joined the club!  The club where members are excluded, rather than included.

I worked really hard for this and I want to thank all the parents who have gone before me who have taught me the finer points of ticking off their kids to the point that they got a sign.

This is only the first in a long series of “Go Away” signs that I hope I’ll get over the course of my momming journey.

Cuz kids… I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND.

But the coolest thing about this sign is the wording:

MOM IS NOT coming in our room.

I may be looking at a seventh book in the series!!! “Mom’s Not Comin’ In Our Room” flipped on it’s head and telling the story from the kids’ perspective.

What do you think?

#momsnot #signondoor #goawaymom #momsnotcomininourroom #momsnotbooks #booksforboys #momsnotbooksforboys #imhonored

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