Lin Hawthorne
Posts by Lin Hawthorne:
For Kids Ready to Handle Life, Upload These Three Bytes of Info into Their Brains at the Start of School
Oh no… what had I done?
I emerged from Ross only to realize the shoes I had bought for Joshua had actual laces. Man, I really needed more sleep.
I didn’t want to return them… no time for that. I had to rush home to get ready for something else that evening.
Now I HAD to do the deed.
I HAD to teach my first-grader how to tie his shoes.
The next day, I joined millions of other parents who had reached the same crossroads and asked myself, “How does one *actually* teach someone else ‘how to tie their own shoes’?”
I did what any self-respecting parent does and I YouTube’ed it.
Wow. What an education. I found a way that looked way easier than how I was taught. So I thought to myself “Shoot… I HAVE to learn this because they’ll totally thank me later for shaving actual seconds off of their shoe-tying game.”
Has anyone ever thanked their parents for teaching them how to tie their shoes?
Giving birth, maybe… tying shoes… nah.
I had pushed out the shoe-tying for as long as possible because I knew it wasn’t mission critical. Just slap some velcro on that nonsense and call it a day.
But there are some things that I can teach my preschool to early elementary kids that will be not only extremely useful in their everyday lives, but especially helpful in an emergency situation:
Basic Home Information (Data)
- Mom & Dad’s cell phone numbers
- Home address
- Emergency contact
How do I get my LITTLE kids to memorize all that information? By doing what I’m best at and being a little silly. I don’t have the time or energy to make an organized flash card system for this stuff and I’m convinced they don’t learn best that way, anyway. We make up raps. I give out prizes for who can say it fastest. You get the point. Use the time they’re all trapped in the car or walking to school to bust it out.
Why would they need to know who to contact for emergencies? In a very real scenario for us where I may become injured or incapacitated in a car accident and Dave may not answer his phone because he’s in the operating room, the kids can at least tell an officer who we trust as a family to come handle things.
Who Gets to Know the Home Information (Data Protection)
Because we are raising “savvy” kids who understand that this is privileged information and only trusted people should hear it.
You can go over a short list of people like:
- School teachers or administrators
- Certain close friends and family
- Police officers or firemen
- Any mom you find (if you should become lost)
Emergency Procedures (Data Glitch)
Running Scenarios
I pick a few age-appropriate scenarios to go over with my kids. The point is not to scare them or make them stew about what can go wrong in life, but even small kids need to know that things do not always go as planned. Raising strong, wise kids involves facing that fact early on and helping them prepare to protect and care for themselves. We live in Arizona so we’ve gone over what to do when encountering rattlesnakes and other crazy desert animals. Other scenarios are:
- What to do if mom doesn’t show up to school to pick you up
- How to dial 911 and keep calm if there is an emergency
- How to be “body-aware” and raise the alarm if someone crosses their boundaries
Family Password
We also created a family “password.” For example, if a person outside of the above list of people approaches our kids to say “Your mom/dad said you need to come with me,” we have instructed them to ask for the password. If the person doesn’t know it, run like the wind.
Character-Building Affirmations (Programming)
A huge part of building confidence and creating kids ready to take the world by storm is helping kids believe they “Can” rather than “Can’t.” Kids believe what they hear and every second at home, they hear our voices. And every second at school, they also hear our voices. A parent’s voice will actually become your child’s “inner voice” and the way they talk to themselves.
That’s some powerful responsibility.
I use the time in the car (or if you walk them to the school bus, while they eat breakfast, etc.) to go over affirmations. We do Bible scripture memory and I call out what I love about each child. Whatever way you do it…. your kids will absolutely see your intentionality and internalize that positive self-talk.
You are a huge reason they will believe they CAN be self-sufficient and confident when they need to step up.
Farewell without Fear
As you wave goodbye to our little loves on their first day of school and you feel the familiar sting in the corners of your eyes– it won’t be tears of fear… it will be tears knowing that they are growing up and you have given them basic tools of how to succeed when things go awry.
Tying shoes? Just go with the velcro. Their feet are pointed in the right direction and that’s all that matters.
#readyforbattle #responsiblekids #thingsgowrong #thingsgotweird #amwriting #momswhowrite #momsnot #intentionalparenting #firstthingsfirst #velcroshoes #momlifewins
Making Friends at Costco
There’s a fun new game I discovered at Costco (I think the employees really like it).
I’ll tell all the kids to get in the cart, then I wheel all the kids and the stuff in the cart to the side of the cashier.
Then I shout “THANKS FOR THE FREE BABYSITTING!!!” and run away laughing.
They looked like they enjoyed it, except for the abject death mask of fear from the sweet gal boxing up the goods.
That’s right, girl. True love waits.
Also, another fun game is watching my three boys take their pretend guns in their hands and make very loud noises (like automatic rifles) pointed at random strangers usually above the age of 65.
Surprisingly, they’re usually the best sports and tend to pretend to fall over.
At least, I hope they’re pretending.
Costco, you just be quiet. We’re paying half your salaries right now.
#costcorun #amwriting #makingnewfriends #boymom
Boys DO Like the Mushy Stuff (just keep it shhhhh)
I sat down at 11:30 with a pen in hand and paper in front of me. The paper was basic and I tried hard to steer clear of anything frilly or something that could be construed as “lovely.”
I had just finished packing their lunch and had to squeeze in one last thing.
I’m not usually one given to writing notes, but there I sat, willing my pen to start a sentence.
“Dear Joshua…”
“That’s a good start!,” I said to myself.
Most moms would just write a few words on a post-it note. But I am a writer. And both of my boys can read (rather well). And they are used to my diatribes. So they would be surprised NOT to get the full force of my literary flourishes.
I wrote the rest of the sentence. Then I tried to read it back to myself.
Chicken scratch. I shook my head. A writer should have better handwriting. Based on handwriting alone, I could have qualified as the doctor in this household. Dave’s writing is neat, measured and above all, is legible.
Admittedly, my handwriting has deteriorated over the years. My boys most certainly wouldn’t be able to read that nonsense.
I moved to the computer and started my familiar click-clack routine that sounds a bit like popcorn in the process of making its transformation.
Tomorrow, the boys are starting a new school, a situation I found myself in quite a lot growing up.
Six different states before 16 and about as many schools: the fears and worries bubbled just beneath the surface even after all of these years.
They needed a mama hug in their lunchbox. They assured me they were excited about their first day, but there are so many things that boys don’t say. Good thing they have a mama who likes to say it all.
I hit print and signed my name at the bottom.
Number One
My precious boy, I am praying for you on your first day at a new school. I know you are wondering about new friends and old friends, but remember this: Jesus will always stick by your side. He is the most loyal friend we have. Press into His loving arms on your good days and bad days. Walking with him all the days of your life is the best decision you can ever make.
Second to Jesus, you have us. We also love you on your good days and bad days. We see you at your best and we see you at your worst. To us it makes no difference, it’s all just rolled into the amazing package that is THE Joshua Lin.
You’re a big second-grader now and I just can’t believe that you’re already here. I’ve seen you grow in confidence and maturity. I laughed to myself as I watched you make lunch the other day for you and your brothers. I thought, “Shoot, he’ll soon be cooking dinner and my little baby boy will be replaced by a young man.” You’ll understand one day when you’re a parent. We want to keep you little and grow you up AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.
Remember, son, your Dad and I know exactly what it’s like to be the firstborn. We all struggle with carrying the weight of the world. But this is Jesus’ job. His shoulders are big enough.
We are here for you.
We will help you navigate conflict. We won’t resolve conflict for you.
We will help you advocate for yourself. We won’t speak for you.
We will love you regardless of your academics. We won’t let you swim below your potential.
Your world is our world and we are looking forward to being on this second grade journey with you.
We love you with all of our hearts.
Number Two
My amazing Samuel, we are praying for you on your first day at a new School. Out of our three boys, you have the most intense curiosity and the joy of our lives is living day-by-day with you as you learn about all the things.
The very best thing you can do in this life is be curious about people. In God’s economy, relationships are most important. You will say “hi” to old friends and meet new friends. Remember that everyone has a story of pain or heartache they may or may not share with you.
In your journey of making friends, some may be “mean” to you, but instead of feeling immediately hurt and wanting to hurt back, take a pause– take a breath… and be curious about the reason behind that meanness. There’s always something behind it and meanness is deflated when met with thoughtfulness.
This world needs a confident leader like you, who will dare to pause before getting angry in return.
Your dad and I are cheering for you. Jesus is cheering for you and is by your side every step of the way. Only He offers the perfect love and friendship we all seek.
We are so very proud of you. Of the boy you are. Of the young man you are aiming for.
We are here for you.
We will help you navigate conflict. We won’t resolve conflict for you.
We will help you advocate for yourself. We won’t speak for you.
We will love you regardless of your academics. We won’t let you swim below your potential.
Your joy is absolutely contagious and I know your little sister is going to miss you terribly as you spend your days at school. You and she have the most beautiful relationship and it’s only going to grow and get better over the years.
We love you with all of our hearts.
Did they read this? I Don’t know.
I never asked and they never told.
This is the way.
If I’ve learned anything about raising boys (and I also have Dave to thank for this), it’s that *most* boys/men have an intense need to “save face” and keep some things close to their hearts.
Every bit of me wanted to ask them in the car “Did you SEE my note? Do you KNOW how much we love you?”
They saw.
They know.
And that is enough.
#amwriting #notesfrommom #authorsofig #firstdayofschool #firstdayofschool2021 #brandnewyear #truthandlove #raisingboystomen #momswhowrite
A Home for Beetle
- How long has the beetle been here?
- Is Sammy charging the beetle rent? Because if so he is subletting space for which he, himself does not own. And I need my cut of that.
- Is the beetle actually renting the shell from another animal who went on vacation?
- Has the beetle been displaced by this crazy housing market?
- Maybe the beetle would like something bigger but this is all he can afford at the moment.
- The beetle down the street has a Tesla. Maybe this beetle has his priorities firmly rooted in appreciating assets and is saving for more square footage to find the beetle of his dreams and start a little beetle family.