Lin Hawthorne

Today I played the “Does my child really need to go to the doctor” game… And I lost. I mean, I won, cuz he’s not *that* sick.

It’s the Kobayashi Maru of parenting.

Tonight while reading “Green Eggs and Ham” to Joshua:

Me: “I am Sam.”

*Josh points questioningly to the guy with the hat*

Me (hesitantly): “Ah, I’m not sure what his name is Joshua. The book doesn’t say.”

*Josh points again*

Me: “Yeah, we don’t know his name son.”

*Josh points again*

Me: “Josh, it’s the dude with no name.”

Dave pipes in: “Let’s just call him ‘Jim’ mmm kay?”

Dear serfs of the Kingdom of Lin: It is Just. Too. Early. SOMEONE GET ME MY COFFEE!

Love, the Benevolent Despot

While I’m changing Sam at the park today a little girl (about 1.5) runs up and leans in real close:

Girl: “He has a PENIS!!!!”

Me (trying to disguise my amusement): “Why yes, yes he does.”

Girl: “My daddy has a HUGE penis.”

Me: “I’m sure he’d really appreciate that assessment.”

My mom and dad took J to an indoor playground yesterday. In her own words, “Yeah, there was this little girl there who was repeatedly trying to kiss him. I almost had to step in. Little hussy.” And so it begins. I’ll be polishing MY rifle if you need me. #tigermom