The dinner table is a gourmet recipe for serving up some character. Now that I’m a parent, I understand why such an emphasis has been placed on eating dinners together. Ours looks pretty haphazard these days. We have boys randomly falling out of their chair at least once a meal. Kicking each other underneath the table. Baby cries to get out of her high chair. Asking for first, seconds, thirds the second I sit down. Drinks are spilled, arguments broken up. But… I look at it this way. Even though it’s rather chaotic at this stage of our life, we are all, in fact, interacting with each other.
As kids are prone to have, opinions fly freely without filters most of the time.
Our middle, Sam is extremely direct and unfiltered most of the time. He’s far less sensitive than his brothers. Also pickier with his food.
He has a tendency to tell me exactly what he doesn’t like about his plate of food the second I set it in front of him.
A side note: I like to cook. Cooking is creative, from my perspective. I love to eat nice things and the boys have no idea how good they have it. And even when we have infants, I’ll let the other domestic things go so we can all eat great food.
I usually let the comments go, but a few night ago, I needed to address it. I had just worked myself into a sweat going from the grill to the oven and back again 50 times along with feeding a baby and helping the boys do homework, etc. I was tired.
I placed the dishes of food in front of each boy and Sammy started in on the usual, “Mom, don’t put that on my plate” or “Mom, I don’t like this.”
I stopped what I was doing and looked straight at him.
“OK, son. We’re going to talk about this. You are entitled to your opinion. You are also absolutely entitled to not like certain things. BUT IT IS INAPPROPRIATE TO SHOUT THEM OUT TO ME RIGHT WHEN I PUT YOUR FOOD DOWN IN FRONT OF YOU.”
So then we talked about what “appropriate” was… doing the right thing at the right time. He knew I was going to make him try the foods he didn’t like anyway, so blurting his displeasure out 1) was not timely to someone who just served you food and 2) was just plain rude. What? You mean, rudeness extends to mom as well? You’d better believe it. If I want them to be polite to others, I’m going to require them to start with me.
Then, after serving everyone else, I sat down. And the second I sat down Josh said, “Mom, can I have more milk?” Another glorious opportunity for growth.
Me: “Josh, do you think it was appropriate to ask me for milk the second I sat down?”
Him: “Ummm…. probably not.”
Me: “I know you have needs and wants, but it would be more appropriate to ask for milk at a time other than when mom just sits down to the table.”
I know. I know. It is so very hard for kids to understand that parents are people too. But it’s important that they see us as such because we are their first line for everything and especially developing empathy for others.
So we eat our dinner. A few people fall out of their chairs. A few people spill their drinks. A few people throw fits and there may have been some words exchanged and punches thrown.
As everyone was finishing up, Sam chuckled to himself.
“Mom, MOM!”
“Yes, son?”
“Do you remember that time a couple of days ago when TJ ran out of the door into the street and you chased him all over the neighborhood and you didn’t have any pants on?” *laughs hysterically to himself*
“Yes. Yes I do. And THAT was completely inappropriate.”
If you’re reading this and you’re my neighbor, sorry you had to see that and even more sorry… it probably won’t be the last time, either.
#therightthingattherighttime #goodmanners #childrensbookauthor #storytimes #dinnertimeš“šĀ #dinnertimeš“ #dinnertimestories #momlifewins #dinnertimeisfamilytime
An American humorist, writer and author. When boiling down the chicken soup of life, she finds those golden, fried nuggets of truth & writes them long after the kids go to bed.
