writinglife

Spirit Week.

The scourge of every semester for moms everywhere.

I mean, I suppose there are some who get excited about it. And God bless you if you are. You keep doing you.

I’m going to keep doing me.

And “me” is simply dreading the extra work associated with the various dress-up days.

I mean, I barely get myself dressed in the mornings. If I’m wearing the appropriate underwear and I’m out of my robe for the morning drop-off I’ve done really well. I might as well just close out that day as a “Win.” I may be a little smelly… my hair may not be washed in a few days, but I’m wearing clothes and I won’t get hauled into the local precinct for indecent exposure.

I’m convinced there are two types of kids in this world: Ones who think that school spirit week is “neat” and ones that think it is “not neat.” We didn’t have “school spirit” days when I was growing up. But then again, we had to walk uphill to school both ways in the blinding snow. It goes without saying.

My two eldest each fall into one camp. Sam thinks it’s definitely “neat” and Josh gives me the head shake every time. I will let you guess who is my favorite son in this scenario.

But at least Sammy is a self-starter. He decided he wanted to dress up for “Disney Day.”

This is a conundrum in this house. We’ve watched many a Disney movie, but other than that, we don’t have much to do with the Mouse ears. I’m not sure why. We haven’t hit Disney Princesses with #4. When we do, you’ll certainly hear about it.

At breakfast, Dave and I brainstormed and we got a brilliant idea.

“Sammy- you have a Mandalorian shirt! Mandalorian is most definitely Disney!”

He got excited. “Cool mom! That would be grea….”

He stopped short.

“Wait. That shirt is actually a ‘night shirt.'”

Me: “Yes. I mean, it’s a ‘t-shirt.’ You wear it with pajama bottoms BUT… you can ALSO wear it as a regular shirt.”

*I’m selling this hard*

Sam: “Mom, it’s a night shirt.”

Me: “You can wear it, Sam, it’s ok. No one will actually know.”

Sam: “MOM!!!! IT’S A PJ SHIRT!!!! THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK!!!!!”

Dave and I just stood off to the side and looked at each other like, “This conversation cannot be real.”

Sam the scientist just could not make the existential shift in his head from PJ to T-shirt. It was too much. I feared his brain would explode.

“Sam, if you don’t want to dress up, you don’t have to.”

Josh “hi-fived” him and they loaded up their stuff and got in the car.

I want you all to know that I tried. I made the effort. I even argued a case.

And when it was unceremoniously shot down, I’m here to tell you…

I’m not sad about it.

Until next year Spirit Week, with your cray-cray hair days, your dress up parties and your silly props. This mom’s peacin’ out and coasting on “normal” for the entire summer.

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