October 13, 2015 at 7:19 PM
“Oh isn’t that cute,” I thought as Joshua found my paint brushes and made strokes in the air. Then he licked them and painted with spit on the glass coffee table and ripped a few farts for good measure. #boymom
The other day, I legit chased my toddler around my street with no pants. ZERO pants. He was running all over the street and I didn’t have time to think about whether or not neighbors could see my saggy white rear end peeking out from underneath my shirt. I had a toddler to catch. If you happened to look out of your window and you live on my street… you’re welcome.
“Oh isn’t that cute,” I thought as Joshua found my paint brushes and made strokes in the air. Then he licked them and painted with spit on the glass coffee table and ripped a few farts for good measure. #boymom
So Josh started doing this really funny thing where he lowers his chin & furrows his brow when he’s angry. On a completely unrelated note, tonight he tried to get down from the table with pizza still stuffed in his fists and I gave him “the look.” You know, the one where I lower my chin and furrow my brows.
Hunger Games Toddler Edition: The house rule is that all people named Joshua must eat their food in their high chair. It has been this way since food became a ‘thing’ for him. This morning, he decided he didn’t like that rule. It took an hour of calmly repeating the rules and consequences over and over and meldowns galore, but hunger eventually won out and he happily decided to get up in his high chair and eat. Like the wailing and gnashing of teeth never happened. Tune in next time for “Hunger Games Mockingmom.” You can look forward to plot twists based on absolutely nothing. Deus ex Machina.
Me on the phone with the D-backs box office:
Operator: “Ok, that’s two bleacher seat tickets. Would you like the hot dog package with that?”
Me: “YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Operator: *chuckling*
Me: “We don’t get out much.”
Both of our boys are taking naps at the SAME TIME. I gotta go- that’s that’s the promised land calling.