The other day, I legit chased my toddler around my street with no pants. ZERO pants. He was running all over the street and I didn’t have time to think about whether or not neighbors could see my saggy white rear end peeking out from underneath my shirt. I had a toddler to catch. If you happened to look out of your window and you live on my street… you’re welcome.
While I’m changing Sam at the park today a little girl (about 1.5) runs up and leans in real close:
Girl: “He has a PENIS!!!!”
Me (trying to disguise my amusement): “Why yes, yes he does.”
Girl: “My daddy has a HUGE penis.”
Me: “I’m sure he’d really appreciate that assessment.”
My mom and dad took J to an indoor playground yesterday. In her own words, “Yeah, there was this little girl there who was repeatedly trying to kiss him. I almost had to step in. Little hussy.” And so it begins. I’ll be polishing MY rifle if you need me. #tigermom
I am the captain of the U.S.S. Target sailing around the world with new deckhands. By the time we return, they’ll have their sea legs under them and exotic treasures such as milk and boys’ shoes size six.
Me: “I Think I’m going to find the Christmas music station on the TV” (as we frantically finish wrapping gifts)
*Josh runs downstairs* “Calliou! Calliou!”
Me: “Or we could watch ‘Calliou.'”
Merry Christmas from Calliou & the toddler house.
Being a kid is spitting out that nasty medicine and deciding you’d rather deal with the consequences. Adulting is taking the NyQuil because you KNOW the consequences are worse than the foul tasting meds. Personally, I’d rather focus on the “Eat ice cream whenever you want” part of adulting. Which is probably going to happen anyway. Question: Would NyQuil taste less bad on top of ice cream or would it just ruin the whole experience? You can probably guess which family member didn’t go get her flu shot.