June 5, 2017 at 5:32 PM
When you’re making dinner and you’re pretty sure the kids are being naughty upstairs, but you just don’t care because you hear laughter instead of crying….
Real Talk
The other day, I legit chased my toddler around my street with no pants. ZERO pants. He was running all over the street and I didn’t have time to think about whether or not neighbors could see my saggy white rear end peeking out from underneath my shirt. I had a toddler to catch. If you happened to look out of your window and you live on my street… you’re welcome.
May 30, 2017 at 7:42 PM
Tonight’s food adventure:
Josh: “Ooh mom, pot-pies are good. It’s like a veggie muffin!”
Me: (Grinning like the Cheshire cat) “Yessss, yessss. It’s a veggie muffin.”
I am the Snidely Whiplash of dinner options.
May 30, 2017 at 8:34 AM
Oh hey tiny terrorist, sorry I gave you the “pink” bowl (actually turquoise) with your delicious homemade oatmeal… When you run out of vitriol in your prison cell (room) or decide to end your hunger strike, you can join the rest of us peasants who eat our gruel with gratitude. #sorrynotsorry
May 24, 2017 at 10:35 AM
This morning’s car ride on the way to school:
Me: “Josh, are you looking forward to getting back to preschool after vacation?”
Him: “Yeah. I get to see my friends Spencer, Jackson, Lucas and Sofia.”
Me: “Sofia. I haven’t heard you mention her before. What is it about Sofia that makes her interesting?”
Him: “She likes to play baseball with me.”
Me: “I should have guessed.”
May 15, 2017 at 3:20 PM
Last night, A.J. Pollock was injured during the DBacks game. I turned to Josh:
“J! The DBacks are running low on players. They need some players… are you ready? What position are you going to play… are you going to play in the outfield?”
Josh (still staring intently at the screen): “No mom, I not play outfield…. I just play baseball.”
Me: “Of course.”