February 15, 2018 at 10:47PM
Guys, I just found out that they don’t keep score in T-ball. But Josh will. Oh yes… he will. And don’t try to tell him it’s just a game.
Real Talk
The other day, I legit chased my toddler around my street with no pants. ZERO pants. He was running all over the street and I didn’t have time to think about whether or not neighbors could see my saggy white rear end peeking out from underneath my shirt. I had a toddler to catch. If you happened to look out of your window and you live on my street… you’re welcome.
February 11, 2018 at 12:24AM
OK, so there’s this “What would I look like as a dude” generator going around. I ain’t doin’ it. I’m terrified that 1) I’ll look like my dad and or any one of my three brothers. (Which is so bizarre) and 2) I’ll look better as a dude than I do as a girl. The fear is real. I ain’t doin’ it. #nomeansno
January 31, 2018 at 09:09AM
How’s my morning going? I caught my two year old sitting on the toilet eating a whole stick of butter.
January 29, 2018 at 05:57PM
Josh: “Hey mom, I got an idea.”
Me: “What?”
Him: “You fix me dinner while I play with my toys.”
Me: “I will counter your offer. You play with your toys up in your room and entertain TJ so I can make some dinner.”
Him: “Yep, that works.”
Guys, I just broke my own rule and I NEGOTIATED WITH A TERRORIST. Not just any terrorist, the littlest dictator in all of Chrisendom.
Also, I don’t think he realizes he’s just been had.
November 30, 2017 at 9:47 PM
Dear random mom at the park: thanks for not looking at me with crazy eyes as I ran after the older two kids, pushing a stroller in one hand and wolfing down an old half of doughnut I found in the car in the other hand. And then I felt the need to tell you between bites that I was sorry I was eating food in front of you while trying to have a conversation. My social awkwardness is only magnified by raging hunger. I sling food at kids all day and sometimes forget to eat it myself. Thanks for not hovering over the kids and letting my tiny kids play with your bigger kids. They felt important. Thanks for the five minutes of real talk in between my gulps of doughnut. And most of all, thanks for not making me ask what your name is. I wouldn’t remember it anyway. You’re the best and maybe I’ll see you at the park again. And next time I’ll bring a doughnut for you. A fresh one. That hasn’t been licked by a child.