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We’re driving and Sam points outside:
“Mom, see that digger over there?
I want to pray to Jesus about that digger.”
Me to God: I don’t even know what to do with this.
God: Just go with it.
Holy Spirit: I got you, boo.

How’s my day going? Oh, my son’s over here smashing his orange on the table, “trying to crack it like an egg” he says. And I found craisins stuffed in my nail clippers earlier. Normalcy abounds.

*We just got finished watching the Dbacks beat up on the Dodgers.*
Me: Welp. I’m going upstairs to shave my legs.
Dave: That’s how you celebrate?
Me: Hold on… this was the first game in the series. Maybe I should wait to shave my legs until the final game.
Dave: Oh, like grow a beard on your legs?
Me: Whatever it takes, man.
Archie Bradley, I’m comin’ for ya.

Me: The boys are annoying me so bad tonight… I wish we could just ship them off somewhere.
Dave: Like Amazon Prime… in reverse.
Dave: Maybe a drone could pick them up.
Me: Now you’re talking.