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I made a giant pan of Rice Krispy treats tonight. Not for the kids. For Dave and I. After the kids were in bed. What’s that Josh? Oh yeah. You bet your britches we have fun after you go to sleep. It’s our reward for adulting all day and all night for you and your brother. Oh, and one day, when you’re rounding third base because you’re so darn fast you earned the nickname “The Flash,” just remember Speed Racer: you got your hustle from both sides of the family. Now, get a move on. The catcher’s not looking!!

Josh had salmon earlier at 11 AM. A “second breakfast” or “early lunch” if you will. He didn’t eat all of it. Around 12:30 he rolls back up to the table wanting a “snack.” Me: “Josh, you need to finish the salmon and rice from earlier.” Him: “No, I don’t want that.” Me: “Ok, no problem. When you’re hungry, you can just come back to it.” I go back to working on my computer. I look out of the corner of my eye and watch him. Two minutes later, he’s looking at me sideways and slowly grabs the corner of his plate and pulls it in front of him. I have my eyes glued to my screen. It took an enormous test of strength not to laugh. Guess who’s finishing his lunch.

The best gift is walking out of the door to my massage appointment with both boys wailing, knowing my capable husband has everything under control. My eyes are burning from caring too much and lack of sleep, but this mothers’ day, a huge fist-bump goes out to my husband who both put me in this predicament and bails me out when I need it most. Xoxo

Clerk who checked us out at Walgreens: “Is she mixed?,” pointing at my son.

Me: “He’s a unique and beautiful creation, just like you and me.”

Clerk: “Well, she’s beautiful.”

Me: “Thanks, and she’s a boy.”

Some moms at swim class were trying to out-diet each other talking about what new cleanse they were on and how much kale & quinoa they ate for breakfast. I’m over here going, “I’m hungry. Where can I get me some ice cream?”