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Me to Josh: “What kind of cookies should I make?”

Josh: “Bacon.”

This kid is alright.

The brake lights flashed in front of me and everyone came to a quick stop. Craning my neck to see around the other cars, the construction vehicles plugged away at their slow-motion activity. The frustration welled up in my throat and my right foot stuck to the brake pedal.

“Why didn’t you know about this? …Why didn’t you take another route? ….This is so irritating…” The thought darts just piled on top of one another, shot straight from the heart of my ugliness… the worst part of me. I furrowed my brow and took a look in the rear view mirror at the boys.

Sammy’s eyebrows shot straight up and his whole face lit with glee. “Woooook! A TWUUUUCK!!!!” Josh looked around and commented, “Mommy, a TWUCK! And wook over there- A FIRE ENGINE!!!!”

My brow came unknotted and I relaxed into a grin as we recognized and named the amazing vehicles, all doing their various jobs. More importantly, we commented on the hard-working people who were running the machines. We were all laughing and we waved at the people who were doing the best they could to do their job and still keep traffic flowing.

How often do I sacrifice attitude on the altar of convenience and schedule? Ashamedly, too many times a day to even keep track of. My boys have no idea that they change me as much as I am sent to guide them. If you’re ever with me in the car and I suddenly yell “TWUUUUUCCCCK!” I’m not using an alternative expletive, I promise. Just know that I’m working on bypassing the frustration and going straight to the joy.

Guys- I’m not crafty. And having these little ones in the kitchen is hard. I spend my time trying to keep them from killing themselves, each other and blowing up the kitchen. But I will continue to welcome them to the kitchen as a safe and creative place to be, because they will learn to be as capable in the kitchen as their dad is. And one day, the right girl will look at them and think “I am so grateful for your mom.”

Right now, Josh is in the bathroom with the door closed. Sam is banging on the outside saying “OPEN THE DOOR, BROTHER!!!!” Imma just let this happen so Josh knows exactly how it feels to be me for a minute.

This weekend, we went to see the D-Backs play and we parked in the Civic Center parking garage.

Dave: “Oh, I recognize this garage. Boys, your mom and I would park here often as we met up for dates.”

Me: “Yeah, we would go to fun restaurants and talk about stuff.”

Dave: “We would talk, or not talk for hours.”

Me: “Or we’d stare at each other and bask in each other’s hotness.”

Dave: “…Which brings us to how you got here.”