Famous Quotes

All may not be well in the house when I step out of the shower and hear “SHHH – SHE’S COMING!!!!”

*Me mumbling under my breath about some driver on the road*
Josh: “Mom, what did you say?”
Me: “Oh, I was just telling some driver to drive better.”
Him: “You need to speak louder so I can hear you.”

#accountabilitysucks

Best quotes from T-ball this morning:
“We’re not picking grass, we’re playing baseball.” AND
“Are we going home yet?” AND
“Ok son, what is baseball all about?”
Son: “TACKLING!!!!!”

So, it’s rattlesnake season here in the desert. I’ve been trying to “snake proof” the boys by doing some car pool education. This morning with Sam:
“Hey Sam, what do we do again when we see a snake?”
Him: JUMP OVER THE SNAKE!
Me: ….
I wonder if the pharmacy could just mix an anti-venom in with his epi pen.
Snakes: 1 Sammy: 0

And now dear friends, as you lay your heads on your pillow and dream of how short the actual sleep really might be, I will leave you with the dark room rhetoric of a fit-throwing two-year old and his wisened older brother:

Josh *taking an egalitarian tone*: “Don’t worry Sam, one day you’ll be my best friend. But not today. Maybe on Saturday.”

The benevolent despot has spoken. Sleep well my friends, for Saturday is coming.