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refrigerator

Mom, I Got This

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Last night, two-year-old was throwing a fit about wanting to rummage through the refrigerator and basically stand there with the door open, staring at it like an adult with the munchies. I put the kibosh on it and closed the door. He freaked out and tried to open it again. I was in the middle of making dinner for everyone but I stopped to hold the refrigerator door closed.

*A dark cloud of irritation moved in over my head*

While I was standing there with the shrieking of a screaming toddler, Sammy got down from the table, slipped in underneath me and says “Mom, I got this.” He leaned against the refrigerator door and I finished making dinner for the rest of them.


After I put the plates on the table, I said “Thanks Sam,” and I resumed holding the door closed. Yep, TJ was still at it.


I think the second child just stole the birth right. First child, it’s your move…

July 12, 2018 at 9:45 AM

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*Sam delicately cups a little moth*
Me: watcha got there?
Sam: I got a moth.
Me: Oh cute. But it’s time to get in the car. Time to let the moth go.
*He drops it on the ground and it crawls around, dazed from its latest imprisonment*

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Me: SAM WHY DID YOU JUST SQUISH THE MOTH????
Him: *shrugs his shoulders* Because. He was smelly. His bottom was smelly.

With that logic, my boys should be squished every single day. Squishings for all.

June 26, 2018 at 11:49AM

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Yesterday I made a grievous and critical miscalculation in the parenting game. I told my four year old (who has sketchy understanding of time, at best) that I signed him up to play fall baseball. Now, every single day I will go through the exact same routine:
Josh: “Mom, is it time to play baseball yet?”
Me: “No honey, it’s still too hot. We’ll play in the fall when it’s cooler.”
Him: “Who are my coaches?”
Me: “I have no idea.”
Him *starting to break down in tears* “BUT IT’S GOING TO TAK A LONG LONG TIIIIIMMMEEE!!!”

*dance break for hysterical wailing*

I’ll just be over here in the pit of Sarlaac where I’ll learn a new definition of pain & suffering and be slowly digested over a period of a thousand years.

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