I sat down at 11:30 with a pen in hand and paper in front of me. The paper was basic and I tried hard to steer clear of anything frilly or something that could be construed as “lovely.”
I had just finished packing their lunch and had to squeeze in one last thing.
I’m not usually one given to writing notes, but there I sat, willing my pen to start a sentence.
“Dear Joshua…”
“That’s a good start!,” I said to myself.
Most moms would just write a few words on a post-it note. But I am a writer. And both of my boys can read (rather well). And they are used to my diatribes. So they would be surprised NOT to get the full force of my literary flourishes.
I wrote the rest of the sentence. Then I tried to read it back to myself.
Chicken scratch. I shook my head. A writer should have better handwriting. Based on handwriting alone, I could have qualified as the doctor in this household. Dave’s writing is neat, measured and above all, is legible.
Admittedly, my handwriting has deteriorated over the years. My boys most certainly wouldn’t be able to read that nonsense.
I moved to the computer and started my familiar click-clack routine that sounds a bit like popcorn in the process of making its transformation.
Tomorrow, the boys are starting a new school, a situation I found myself in quite a lot growing up.
Six different states before 16 and about as many schools: the fears and worries bubbled just beneath the surface even after all of these years.
They needed a mama hug in their lunchbox. They assured me they were excited about their first day, but there are so many things that boys don’t say. Good thing they have a mama who likes to say it all.
I hit print and signed my name at the bottom.
Number One
My precious boy, I am praying for you on your first day at a new school. I know you are wondering about new friends and old friends, but remember this: Jesus will always stick by your side. He is the most loyal friend we have. Press into His loving arms on your good days and bad days. Walking with him all the days of your life is the best decision you can ever make.
Second to Jesus, you have us. We also love you on your good days and bad days. We see you at your best and we see you at your worst. To us it makes no difference, it’s all just rolled into the amazing package that is THE Joshua Lin.
You’re a big second-grader now and I just can’t believe that you’re already here. I’ve seen you grow in confidence and maturity. I laughed to myself as I watched you make lunch the other day for you and your brothers. I thought, “Shoot, he’ll soon be cooking dinner and my little baby boy will be replaced by a young man.” You’ll understand one day when you’re a parent. We want to keep you little and grow you up AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.
Remember, son, your Dad and I know exactly what it’s like to be the firstborn. We all struggle with carrying the weight of the world. But this is Jesus’ job. His shoulders are big enough.
We are here for you.
We will help you navigate conflict. We won’t resolve conflict for you.
We will help you advocate for yourself. We won’t speak for you.
We will love you regardless of your academics. We won’t let you swim below your potential.
Your world is our world and we are looking forward to being on this second grade journey with you.
We love you with all of our hearts.
Number Two
My amazing Samuel, we are praying for you on your first day at a new School. Out of our three boys, you have the most intense curiosity and the joy of our lives is living day-by-day with you as you learn about all the things.
The very best thing you can do in this life is be curious about people. In God’s economy, relationships are most important. You will say “hi” to old friends and meet new friends. Remember that everyone has a story of pain or heartache they may or may not share with you.
In your journey of making friends, some may be “mean” to you, but instead of feeling immediately hurt and wanting to hurt back, take a pause– take a breath… and be curious about the reason behind that meanness. There’s always something behind it and meanness is deflated when met with thoughtfulness.
This world needs a confident leader like you, who will dare to pause before getting angry in return.
Your dad and I are cheering for you. Jesus is cheering for you and is by your side every step of the way. Only He offers the perfect love and friendship we all seek.
We are so very proud of you. Of the boy you are. Of the young man you are aiming for.
We are here for you.
We will help you navigate conflict. We won’t resolve conflict for you.
We will help you advocate for yourself. We won’t speak for you.
We will love you regardless of your academics. We won’t let you swim below your potential.
Your joy is absolutely contagious and I know your little sister is going to miss you terribly as you spend your days at school. You and she have the most beautiful relationship and it’s only going to grow and get better over the years.
We love you with all of our hearts.
Did they read this? I Don’t know.
I never asked and they never told.
This is the way.
If I’ve learned anything about raising boys (and I also have Dave to thank for this), it’s that *most* boys/men have an intense need to “save face” and keep some things close to their hearts.
Every bit of me wanted to ask them in the car “Did you SEE my note? Do you KNOW how much we love you?”
They saw.
They know.
And that is enough.
#amwriting #notesfrommom #authorsofig #firstdayofschool #firstdayofschool2021 #brandnewyear #truthandlove #raisingboystomen #momswhowrite
An American humorist, writer and author. When boiling down the chicken soup of life, she finds those golden, fried nuggets of truth & writes them long after the kids go to bed.
