Yesterday, I’m driving Josh home from preschool. We pass North Canyon high school. Josh: *motions to school* “Mom, I belong there.” Me: *raises eyebrows and looks at him in rear view mirror* “Oh, is that right?” Josh: “Yes, my friends are going to go there and I’m going to play baseball.” Me: “You realize you’re […]
Me: “Josh, you don’t need to repeat my instructions to Sam. I’m the mom.” Josh: “Yeah, but I’m the Josh.” Well, that’ll learn me.
When you’re making dinner and you’re pretty sure the kids are being naughty upstairs, but you just don’t care because you hear laughter instead of crying….
Tonight’s food adventure: Josh: “Ooh mom, pot-pies are good. It’s like a veggie muffin!” Me: (Grinning like the Cheshire cat) “Yessss, yessss. It’s a veggie muffin.” I am the Snidely Whiplash of dinner options.
Oh hey tiny terrorist, sorry I gave you the “pink” bowl (actually turquoise) with your delicious homemade oatmeal… When you run out of vitriol in your prison cell (room) or decide to end your hunger strike, you can join the rest of us peasants who eat our gruel with gratitude. #sorrynotsorry
This morning’s car ride on the way to school: Me: “Josh, are you looking forward to getting back to preschool after vacation?” Him: “Yeah. I get to see my friends Spencer, Jackson, Lucas and Sofia.” Me: “Sofia. I haven’t heard you mention her before. What is it about Sofia that makes her interesting?” Him: “She […]
Last night, A.J. Pollock was injured during the DBacks game. I turned to Josh: “J! The DBacks are running low on players. They need some players… are you ready? What position are you going to play… are you going to play in the outfield?” Josh (still staring intently at the screen): “No mom, I not […]
My husband, literally the best dad on the planet, just came in from work, whisked both boys (ages 3.5 & 1.5) away for the D-Backs game. The silence in the house is almost deafening. I think I’ll finish my dinner at my own pace and without interruption, maybe use the bathroom by myself, then turn […]
Me to Josh: “What kind of cookies should I make?” Josh: “Bacon.” This kid is alright.
The brake lights flashed in front of me and everyone came to a quick stop. Craning my neck to see around the other cars, the construction vehicles plugged away at their slow-motion activity. The frustration welled up in my throat and my right foot stuck to the brake pedal. “Why didn’t you know about this? […]