June 6, 2018 at 10:14 PM
This is me. Eating by myself at 10 PM. Every one of these stripes tomatoes toped with pesto is getting my full attention. You see, Dave and I grew these tomatoes and grew all of the basil for the pesto.
May 20, 2018 at 08:11PM
*Josh plops himself down at the table while I’m finishing dinner.* Josh: Mom, I want food now. Me: It’s not ready yet. While you’re waiting, why don’t you look around for ways you can help. Josh: I don’t want to help. Me: That’s refreshingly honest. Me: I suddenly don’t want to make you dinner. Honesty’s […]
May 15, 2018 at 06:31PM
Guys. Josh just told me he didn’t want me to cheer for him at his baseball games. I mean, I’m honored. I thought I’d slowly work up to the “embarrassing parent” and start turning in my best performances around teenage years. But here I am, my oldest is four and I’m killing it.
May 04, 2018 at 10:23AM
We’re driving and Sam points outside: “Mom, see that digger over there? I want to pray to Jesus about that digger.” Me to God: I don’t even know what to do with this. God: Just go with it. Holy Spirit: I got you, boo.
May 03, 2018 at 02:51PM
How’s my day going? Oh, my son’s over here smashing his orange on the table, “trying to crack it like an egg” he says. And I found craisins stuffed in my nail clippers earlier. Normalcy abounds.
April 30, 2018 at 10:16PM
*We just got finished watching the Dbacks beat up on the Dodgers.* Me: Welp. I’m going upstairs to shave my legs. Dave: That’s how you celebrate? Me: Hold on… this was the first game in the series. Maybe I should wait to shave my legs until the final game. Dave: Oh, like grow a beard […]
April 27, 2018 at 08:21PM
Me: The boys are annoying me so bad tonight… I wish we could just ship them off somewhere. Dave: Like Amazon Prime… in reverse. Dave: Maybe a drone could pick them up. Me: Now you’re talking.
April 27, 2018 at 01:47PM
*Me mumbling under my breath about some driver on the road* Josh: “Mom, what did you say?” Me: “Oh, I was just telling some driver to drive better.” Him: “You need to speak louder so I can hear you.” #accountabilitysucks
Cozette “Mimi” Hawthorne
She looked at me and tapped her teeth with her fingernails. That was her tell. I was sitting on her right and she was partnered with Will. Another day, another epic game of 42 was underway. We were out for blood. Papa- well, you would know he had something good because he started gloating four […]
April 05, 2018 at 09:13AM
After a few years of parenting boys, I can conclusively say that the statement “Please stop making noise” is on par with “The moon is made of green cheese” or “Pigs fly” or my personal favorite up until two years ago, “When the Chicago Cubs win the Word Series.”