You all know my stance on Costco. Hate the crowds, love the stuff. I might be the only mom in the world who likes Costco more when I take the kids. Gives me something else to focus on. Feed them samples. Case and point: We were about to check out and we pass the fresh […]
As it gets closer to bedtime, I find myself using one and two-word phrases: “You.” “Come here.” “Brush Teeth.” “NOW” Like some verbally-deficient coyote who just needs to get the kids in bed so she can go kill some chickens. And by killing chickens, I mean fold laundry. Or eat ice cream.
Dave and I JUST CANNOT take any more little boy feelings tonight. They were feeling all the feels and it mostly felt like they wanted to overthrow the powers that be. All three of ’em. The proletariat vs. the bourgeoisie. Well, let me tell you little socialists in training… you’ll get a swift lesson in […]
*Today at lunch uncle Will is dining with us* Me: “Josh, why are you trying to pinch Uncle Will? He has feelings, you know. Will (always gracious): Don’t worry… he’s not very good at it. Me: Yeah, see that’s the thing. We don’t want him to get good at it. Will: Good point. Me: Did […]
Today’s holiday is brought to you by “Stop looking at me!” and “You’re bothering me!” Preschool is closed. Mom is not. Neither are the hospitals. #earlyfireworks
*person rides by on bicycle* Sam: (screams loudly) MOM!!! THAT MAN IS RIDING HIS BICYCLE WITHOUT A HELMET!!!! Sorry dude. You brought down that fire upon yourself. #judgementday
*Sam delicately cups a little moth* Me: watcha got there? Sam: I got a moth. Me: Oh cute. But it’s time to get in the car. Time to let the moth go. *He drops it on the ground and it crawls around, dazed from its latest imprisonment* > ***** Me: SAM WHY DID YOU JUST […]
The meltdowns were coming in waves. Not like a gentle monsoon rain… more like a tsunami. It’s source was somewhere far out at sea. A complete mystery to the weathermen who were working overtime to try to predict the height of the swells and how much damage they would cause.
Yesterday I made a grievous and critical miscalculation in the parenting game. I told my four year old (who has sketchy understanding of time, at best) that I signed him up to play fall baseball. Now, every single day I will go through the exact same routine: Josh: “Mom, is it time to play baseball […]
All may not be well in the house when I step out of the shower and hear “SHHH – SHE’S COMING!!!!”