Lin Hawthorne

Me: “Josh, you don’t need to repeat my instructions to Sam. I’m the mom.”

Josh: “Yeah, but I’m the Josh.”

Well, that’ll learn me.

When you’re making dinner and you’re pretty sure the kids are being naughty upstairs, but you just don’t care because you hear laughter instead of crying….

Tonight’s food adventure:

Josh: “Ooh mom, pot-pies are good. It’s like a veggie muffin!”

Me: (Grinning like the Cheshire cat) “Yessss, yessss. It’s a veggie muffin.”

I am the Snidely Whiplash of dinner options.

Oh hey tiny terrorist, sorry I gave you the “pink” bowl (actually turquoise) with your delicious homemade oatmeal… When you run out of vitriol in your prison cell (room) or decide to end your hunger strike, you can join the rest of us peasants who eat our gruel with gratitude. #sorrynotsorry

This morning’s car ride on the way to school:

Me: “Josh, are you looking forward to getting back to preschool after vacation?”

Him: “Yeah. I get to see my friends Spencer, Jackson, Lucas and Sofia.”

Me: “Sofia. I haven’t heard you mention her before. What is it about Sofia that makes her interesting?”

Him: “She likes to play baseball with me.”

Me: “I should have guessed.”