Lin Hawthorne

The worst part of being a boy mom: watching them bloody themselves over and over with alarming regularity. The best part of being a boy mom: When they bloody themselves, they want their mama.

Joshua: “Mom, how about you make limeade and I go watch TV.”

Me: “Son, negotiations have stalled on an account of this situation being weighted heavily in your favor. Throw in a back rub and you might have yourself a deal.”

So, my preschooler goes MWF all day. I see other moms picking up their kids and they yell “Mommeyy!!!” And act happy to see their mother. My boy? He mean mugs me and shoots me daggers because I a) pick him up too soon b) pick him up too late c) pick him up during snack d) pick him up before he gets to the playground. Move out kid. Just move out & get a job because clearly, you don’t need my services #threenager

Best part of my day: Listening to Josh read “Everybody Poops” to Sammy long after they’re supposed to be asleep.

Josh (to Sammy): “Sammy, you know better than that! You are not being kind to me!”

Now all he has to do is figure out how to pay for college and Josh has this parenting thing nailed.