A Counterfeit Proposal

It’s time for me to address the elephant in the room.

*walks into a room*

OK, I’m here, in the room.

Wait, what am I here for again?

This scenario that you just read happens at least 3 times a day to me. I used to look at my own parents like they were nuts for forgetting what they are doing or trailing off and not finishing sentences.

This is now a regular thing for me. Maybe I write to try and counteract that and help me believe I’m not crazy or losing my mind.

I’ve never had amazing recall, but sometimes I feel like my brain is lagging five seconds behind. Like I’m in an echo chamber and the voices on the echo are the voices of my kids trying to reach me. No wonder most days end in a headache.

In short… I cannot keep up. Especially with Sam, my middle child who has made it to the professional ranks of drawing conclusions. His ability to connect the dots is staggering.

When I picked the boys up from school in my trusty steed, the Silver Pathfinder known as “Martin” (because it identifies as an Aston Martin), both boys piled in and immediately started jabbering about their “Silver Spurs.”

Let me back up for a minute and tell you about this construct.

The boys’ school has developed a beautiful system to for teachers to “catch” students in good deeds and promote character qualities they see. Teachers hand out “tickets” (little slips of yellow paper) and write on it good things they observe in the kids. The kids put the tickets in a lottery at the end of the week and their names can be drawn for prizes.

Josh usually earns all sorts of awards, multiple in a day. Of course he does. First child. Loves rules.

Sammy’s pile isn’t so prolific. He’s middle (boy) child. Rules are a choice, not a necessity.

On this day, Sammy climbed in excited because he got THREE in one day and he described what each one was for. Josh quickly jumped in and said he got one, but that he usually gets a lot more. Like he needed to remind his mom of that stuff. No… it wasn’t about me… it was about him just saying it and letting the words hang in the air for validation. Being a mom, I had to address it.

“Josh… you frequently get multiple Silver Spurs. And we are proud of you. Let Sammy have his moment and shine because we are proud of him too.” The rest of the convo flowed smoothly and the topic died, so I will fast forward you to tonight.

************

Dave came in from work. After the family had eaten dinner, it was just the parents and Sam left in the kitchen. It was a moment of rare silence. Sammy looked up from the table and Dave and I were standing in the kitchen so we could easily converse.

“Mom,” he began. “Those Silver Spurs…. they are ah, printed from a computer, right?”

“Yessss…..”

“So,” he said, “You could….. print MORE of them, right?”

Dave and I turned to look at him. Then we looked at each other. And we couldn’t hold it in. We starting laughing until we cried. Usually, we can stave off the laughter, but not this time.

“So, Sam… you’re saying you want to copy the and print them, right?”

“Yeah.”

Then we had a lively discussion about counterfeiting and decreasing the value of the “Spur.” Boy oh boy, I cannot keep up. Sam connects the dots in ways that I get whiplash as he move fluidly from topic to topic.

And given that I’m usually sleep-deprived and in the multiple kid wind tunnel doesn’t help either.

That night, as I got into bed, I had a vision of little Sam behind bars at the state Pen holding up a mugshot sign that said “Convicted for embezzling and money laundering.”

At least he’ll be the cleanest launder-er there. Boy loves washing his hands.

I opened one eye and shining in the darkness I saw the cute little pink elephant snuggling down in the corner.

Well. I wasn’t going totally crazy. I finally made it to the room with the elephant.

#pinkelephant #kidsaresmart #childrensbookauthor #cantkeepup