While the villagers slept quietly in their beds, they were unaware of the force that was about to overtake them. The toddler horde had woken up extra early to plan their ransack. Allergy season was worse than usual and the villagers were lulled into a false sense of security by Claritin. They approached from the East. As if by magic, the horde made it across the moat and scaled the formerly impenetrable wall. These toddlers were very advanced for their age and seemed to have little regard for the high wall or moat Dragon, who was also under the influence of Claritin. The villagers awoke with a start to the sound of the commotion. But it was too late. They had been sacked. One toddler silhouette darkened the doorway of a village home. The two villagers in their bed gasped and the toddler held out his sippy cup and demanded, “MILK!!!” The two villagers gasped and sobbed. “Please don’t hurt us! Our cows have been confiscated by the lord of the village!” But the toddler paid no heed and just escalated into a hysterical chant. “MILK MILK MILK MIIILLLKKKKKK!!!!” “What should we do??,” gasped the woman. “Quick!,” said the man, “Get me the remote!” In the darkness and their Claritin stupor, the woman found the remote and turned on the cartoon channel. The toddler slowly stopped his chant and sat down in front of the happy images, mesmerized by the advanced technology and sing-song dialogue. “I hate this channel!!,” the woman wailed with a sob. “I know honey, I know! But it’s the only way for us to be able to go back to sleep! Just put in your earplugs and ignore it and maybe it will all go away!” The frightened couple fell back asleep, dreaming of waking up in utopia to a house in perfect order and the toddlers out of their village and asleep in their own beds.
An American humorist, writer and author. When boiling down the chicken soup of life, she finds those golden, fried nuggets of truth & writes them long after the kids go to bed.
